Gettin’ old…

Wednesday, I turned 45. My son told me, “You’re officially old now, dad.” He’s not known for his tact. In the vein of giving, I decided to share Mal-adaptive with everyone as my birthday gift.

Head on over to: , and it should take you to the correct version of Amazon, where you can download my book for free from August 4-6.

I hope you enjoy, and I also hope to share another book with you next year.

♫ These are a few of my favorite… books ♫…

Not sure I’ve done one of these yet… and if I have, I think I’m gonna try to give it a little twist by saying that these are some of my favorite book… series. Most authors have at least a favorite book or hundred (and I’m no different), but having a series of books that stand out seems to be harder to find these days.

Without further ado *brain wanders off, wondering when ado became the replacement for a fuss or just a bit of trouble… and why it became so popular as a word… has it ever been popular?… why ado?… where was I?… oh, yeah*, my favorite book series:

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Call me, Ishmael…

… I really need to talk to you about something. But no, you’re being a mobi-dick and just keep texting me all these articles about knot-tying and white privilege.

While that would make a hilarious idea for an updated story of Moby Dick, it kinda ties in with what I’m gonna ramble about today… cell phones.

There have been many hundreds of thousands of articles written on cell phone etiquette… none of which have been apparently read by the people that need them the most. This leads me to believe that the worst offenders can’t read. Bad logic, I know. When I rode to school on my dinosaur, I had no idea just how popular and prevalent cell phones would become. What follows, are the same issues I’ve noticed that are still hanging around from the days where cell phones were nothing but a gigantic, brick-sized battery attached to a radio that could make telephone calls:

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We need to have a talk(show)…

We need to sit down and discuss things… as a country. We need to get the farthest, left-leaning socialist, and face them off with the farthest, right-leaning conservative, and everyone in between those two extremes… and get them to talk and listen to each other. No yelling. No name calling. No logical fallacies allowed for anyone.

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The tunnel…

I’m not happy with today’s prompt (again), so I’m going to ‘borrow’ a prompt from a friend. They were asking for help regarding a situation in their book, and my brain just went nuts. I’ll try my best to keep it short today. Here’s the prompt: In an attempt to get somewhere safer, two people suddenly appear in a very dark tunnel. For reasons unknown, they can’t get out the same way they got in.

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Remember when?…

We’re sidesteppin’ today’s prompt again… because I’m lazy (especially on a day off).

I was born in San Antonio, Texas way back in 1972, but my first clear memories are from when I was in 2nd grade in Boise, Idaho. That’s 7 years of human development that I don’t remember. That seems to be the norm for most people, though. If I try to dig for the furthest clear memory possible, it’s a tie between making chocolate haystack cookies and making candles inside coke glasses (there was even foamy wax to make it look like soda). If I really pressed my mom for more info, I’d probably find out the candle making one happened after the cookies.

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Now I’m drivin’ a Porsche…

Imagine you’re just getting your license to drive, and you’re given a Smart car to drive around… one of those little mini things that fit one and a half humans inside and look like they’d blow off the road in a stiff wind. While not everyone is enamored with such a small vehicle, it does the job at getting you from Point A to Point B. It may not have the best handling, or power, but you can drive on the roads and park in any spot just like any other car.

Now, imagine you get a job as a courier. You deliver packages and whatnot all over the place. You get paid more if you can deliver more packages at the same time, and if you get them there faster (forget about stupid things like speed limits for this exercise). What kind of car do you think you would need for this job? Probably one with a pretty good sized cargo space… one with a big gas tank so you wouldn’t have to fill up as often… one with good aerodynamics to keep you going fast… one with a powerful engine to keep your speed high… one with great suspension for handling corners and rough terrain (like the billions of potholes in Spokane). What if you could get a car like that for $20.

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I’ve got some pocket lint here…

If someone on the street asked me for some change, I could instantly say, “No.”… not because I don’t want to give them any, but because I really don’t have any. I do have 3 dollar bills in my pocket, but that’s extremely rare. I usually buy most things with my debit card (I have instant access to my bank account through my bank’s app on my phone).

What’s the point? Todays prompt: 14. Think about one thing you would like to change about your life, and tell us how you plan to do it. Change joke aside, the biggest thing would be money… or lack thereof. We could all use a little more money in our lives, and to do that (for most of us), that means getting a better job (or possibly a raise if you already like where you’re working).

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Green with envy…

PEW! PEW! HONK! Oh, the lovely sounds of laser tag in the late 80’s What’s that got to do with today’s prompt: 13. What is your favorite color?

I was living in San Antonio, Texas back in 1985. We had just moved there from Boise, Idaho (OMG! The humidity!!!) because my dad had decided to go back into the military. I was in the 7th grade, and getting my ass handed to me in math because I still didn’t know my multiplication tables. I had found a friend that must have been pretty well off, because he had a gas-powered RC car and some cool toys like a programmable tank thing.
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“Fly, you fools”…

I could have easily gone with a picture of Gandalf over there, but the prompt for today is: Where would you fly right now if you could hop in a plane? If it was that plane, I could definitely be in Florida that much sooner.

First thing’s first… I feel no draw to the state of Florida because of the actual state. In fact, it’s way too hot and humid for my liking (as a general ‘place’). Only one reason I would be headed there… for a woman.
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