I had to go to the store last night and pick up some food for this weekend. It’s when I have my kid with me, so it needs to be food that’s easy to prepare, can alternate between a meal and a snack, and is relatively cheap. There are some standards that I can rely on, but my son tends to get burnt out pretty fast on them. He doesn’t have the most discerning taste, though, so I’m usually pretty safe with getting lower quality stuff.
Enter Tina’s Burritos (I’m calling them out because they seem to be proud of the facets I’m about to present). They come in a wide variety of flavors such as:
- Beef and Bean
- Beef and Bean/Green Chili
- Red Hot Beef
- Bean and Cheese (100% cheddar, the package says)
- Spicy Beef and Bean
- Beef and Bean Sriracha
- Spicy Bean and Cheese
- Beef and Bean/Red Chili
So you’re telling me that in the over 30 years you’ve been in business, nobody has ever thought of, or asked for, a Beef and Cheese burrito? At 30 cents each, I wasn’t about to be too picky about the lack of flavor combinations. I chose four at random, excluding the spicy ones as I didn’t want my kid to hate me completely. I bid adieu to the horrendously expensive dollar burritos and headed home.
Upon heating the small-ish frozen burrito in the air fryer (noticing that the color of the tortilla strangely reminded me of the color of bleached bone), it promptly committed seppuku and spilled its guts all over the inside of the machine. Maybe it wasn’t prepared to be a delicious snack. Maybe it knew it wasn’t a delicious snack. Either way, I ate it.
The first bite into the multiple layers of flour tortilla at the end was met with a bit of resistance, but the molten interior helped to keep everything from shattering too much. Making sure I hadn’t just broken another tooth, I finished the dry bite and actually looked forward to getting one with some actual innards. The texture reminded me of an attempt to recreate what they believed beef and bean would be like… without ever having tried either. The taste, without the bit of spice I could place, would have been bland, to say the least. I finished it off in a few crunchy bites and sat there to ponder my future experiences with a small amount of trepidation.
Now we get into the nitty-gritty of my analysis. Why did I buy 30 cent burritos? The first answer would be to save money. Being at the end of a smaller paycheck cycle (just finished visiting my girlfriend in Florida) reduces your choices of just what cuisine falls into the ‘affordable’ category. If I were just feeding myself, I probably would have been okay leaving the store with a case of ramen and calling it good. The second answer to the original question would be to determine just how good… or bad… a thirty cent burrito could be. I’ve had better. I’ve had worse.
What was I expecting from this purchase? It’s food. I expect it to taste at least palatable. I expect it to provide nourishment. I expect it to NOT mess up my gastrointestinal tract while doing those things. As far as Tina’s burritos go, it barely met one, and the other will be determined in a few hours. It wasn’t filling by any means. I’d probably have to have maybe two or three (or eat one with something else) to be ‘full’… but I also feel like I would be pressing my luck by shoving more than one into my system in such a short amount of time.
Will I do this again? That all depends on whether or not my son finds them edible or not, or if I’ll be cleaning a suddenly explosive mess in my future. I’ve been surprised by some of the things he’s liked. I’ve also been surprised by foods that have not liked me.
How does this relate to books? Tina’s burritos are like the 99 cent books we find on Amazon. A cheap alternative to our usual fare. Something to catch our eye with its bright packaging and a promise of a palatable repast that won’t make us sick. We buy them because they’re cheap. Is there a possibility of getting burned? Sure, but we do it anyway.
We toss the book into our cart, feeling like we maybe just got away with something we weren’t supposed to. We take it home and crack the seal, peering inside in the hopes that we don’t find bone-bleached prose and a plot with holes big enough to spew utter garbage all over. The first bite is always strange as we prepare ourselves for something that may not quite meet the quality we’re used to consuming. Further in brings the possibility that it may not be too bad… don’t mind the bits that hurt.
After, we’re left with the questions. Did that satisfy me? Was it worth it? Is there any permanent damage? We may even share it with another person to get their perspective. They may balk and tell you to go away with that subpar stuff. They may give it a try… and then THEY will have to deal with the questions. Sometimes, we find a jewel among the chaff… a delicious morsel hiding in the garbage. Does THAT make it worth it? Not always, but it does give us a taste of what’s possible… and helps keep us going when the result isn’t quite what we were looking for.
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